No news today, just thoughts

For me Christmas came early this year :
it's been a strange month December 2012; between the assumed end of the world, graduations, new and old friends, and family the days passed by as it they were double and shorter at the same time.
Changing town like I did last year, i lived in 4 different cities in just one year, was a challenge, was funny and made me grow, but it was this month the moment i really needed.
Christmas came early to me.
As I don't believe in coincidences I had the most wonderful gift someone like me can receive and, even if it took me all this time to realize this simple thing, 2012 took me a bunch of friend I can't live without.  "no man is an island" says "About a Boy" but it's easier to live like that. Well, I've been shaken, me han traido fuera de mi concha: when i least expected to find people that mattered something, when I was just hanging to my few old sure friends, I find myself willing to trust, know and invest.
Christmas came early to me.
I discovered again the importance of people I loved, I saw myself as they see me, I changed what I didn't like and made me feel not good.. well, not all, I can't save the world in one day!
But i really tried to bring a piece of Murcia, Rome and Brighton in my life here and when I actually live as I was there, I make my day.

"Happiness is real only when Shared" A.S.

I'm not someone who make promises, one, the scout one, it's more than enough; I alway say too many things, many of them 'cause i mean them in that moment, but then they just fade away.. Now it's not time to do new year's empty promises, it's time to remember that one year is made by 365 day and some hours and there's no need do live a long and empty life, but the hard truth is that we can add life to everyday with simple easy little things. No more running, let's take our time to read, hug, smile and laugh. Everything else will follow.
I don't wanna live a century to wait in realizing dreams, hopes and trips: I wanna really live everyday like I was still in Erasmus discovering thing, confronting challenges and with no fear.
Christmas came early to me,
I hope I wasn't the only one.

An unconventional day

Maybe the really important things happen when we're distracted or when we're sceptic..or maybe it's just how we perceive that..

Fog. Fog everywhere. Wherever you turned your eyes the only thing you could see was fog.
It was a pensive day, don't know if it was a matter of the day, the fog or the anniversary. I was seated in the back of the car, looking out of the window asking myself where i was going and why, when old memories started flooding into my mind. They where reminder of a past long gone, happy memories that usually made me sad but not in that moment. It was like a warm blanket covering my mind.
Finally in the fog we arrive: the house was at our right, i imagined it in a sunny day or at the sunset. It must be a wonderful view. A sign "Comunità Tabor" was on the gate and the light in the front door seemed like an invite.
The fire was crackling in the corner of the room and i was feeling uncomfortable: what was i doing there?! People greeted me, introducing themselves and i couldn't remember one name. I understood the meaning "fish out of the water". I was so uncomfortable that i asked to see the garden, hoping that nature, as always, took me on a safe path and that was the case, but when i turned around it was a painting in the wall that captured my attention: it was a fresco in white and gold. I felt a sudden warm and I could feel my eyes shining and that felling sticked with me all night. It was like in Assisi: I couldn't tell why or what, but there was something hidden and glorious in that home.
They show me around, who was is not important, it was the place that was talking to my soul. The words said after, when we where seating in a circle, seemed made for me, not all, but at least much of them.
I felt strange, between happy and filled with a sense of community, but in a pleasant way. A lot of things were said and i discovered hidden inside the reasons I made my choices in the last 4 years: they were strong as the day i made the promise of serving, that day lost in this frantic life didn't seemed far away at all.
I decided to go there on curiosity, more to stay with the person who told me about that than to a real need, or that i thought getting on that car, but there it was the opposite: i was there because of him but not to stay with him. There were so many words which seemed just made for me that i was completely absorbed by the place and the people there, so much absorbed that i just flood from a conversation to an other, following something I didn't recognize and didn't care of: suddenly i was there for me, i was eager to listen, to capture every word..I found myself silent waiting for a new hint to follow.
In no time it was 2 in the morning and we left. The humidity of the fog gave me a terrible headache, that became a sense of vomiting going down all that mountain road, which stayed with me until i felt asleep in my bed, but i was so filled with joy that i didn't care.
While i was opening my house's door i was sure about one thing: on the 7th i'll be there again.

I'am a realist, I'am a romantic, I'm an indecisive...

Please listen to " I'm a realist" while you read...
Travelling is said to open the world and the mind of the traveller, but nobody wrote on the trauma of going back to the same place you left that once you called home.
You've changed in ways you still have to discover and the old routines do not fit you anymore..and not all the friends have changed in the way that's compatible to your new-and-at-the-same-time-old character.
Andrej Tarkovskij wrote that there's only one trip possible: the one we do into ourself... I came back and i found that everything was different: me, the others and my places.. what remained the same is the attitude of the people: same faces, same conversations, same schemes.. But yesterday there was a change: a lot of police was around, stopping people and checking documents in the centre of the town, not so far from the advertisement of the arrival in town today of Matteo Renzi, major of Florence, running for the primary of the PD, the italian leftish-centered party, for celebrating the anniversary of the creation of this new-and-old political entity. The police was around with 4 cars and a van, at least 10 or 12 policemen walking in the streets; that's unusual, very strange for a town in which you see them just checking alcohol-level in car drivers on the Thursday night or from midnight to 2 on some Saturday. So why do we, citizens, have to pay just to have them "securing" a town so boring that if there's a bar fight is the event of the weekend, just because Renzi is coming the next day? How much do we pay just to show off? Was the same thing, just a demonstration of "power", when we spent loads of contributors just to host a Holy Mess done by the Pope and to get a glimpse of Mario Monti, our prime minister? Yes, the town centre is clean and no baggers' around, the street lights are on and the shop windows are shining and ready to sell (to ghost, probably, as we are in a huge crysis) but as you exit the medieval town the roads have holes, the streets floods at the first rain and we're the worst town in Tuscany for the sorted waste collection; at that's only the top of the iceberg. Welcome in Arezzo, a shining town in south Tuscany!

points of view

points of view..all depends on that. And when you loose yours is done: it's hard to go back and find it, in the middle of the chaos where it smoothed till it disappeared.
The hardest thing is moving, changing your life and maintain the balance between who you are, what made you and who you want to be.
If life changes pieces by pieces while you're distracted making what you think are uninfluencial choices, than what's destiny, what's chance, what are coincidences and are we really free?
Every trip i do i meet different people that teach me something: most of the time is what i don't wanna be or become, sometimes are lessons i know i'll remember forever. and yet my point of view changes without me noticing, too worried to get distracted and live a "full life" to pay attention to my thoughts. Brighton and Murcia had overwhelmed myself, making me discover or find again part of me i didn't know where there, but the silence..only the silence can show yourself who you really are and that's the hardest thing in the world: being able to find every time a new balance without getting lost, maintaining your the point if view that characterizes you and remember the road you did and where you wanna go.

For them was the perfect summer day for going to the beach: people in his bikini and swimsutes sunbathing in the sun; I was in shorts and a top just starting to feel the heating of the sun..

Seems a life time ago when I was here in Brighton, but it was only four years ago. Everything's looks the same, everything's changed a part from the English Summer Rain and my host family.
Walking in the same streets i left behind I'm stoned that things work actually: the buses are on time, the streets are clean, the police is around..
It's not the perfect world, not the perfect country, but it's a place where jobs for students really exist, where people is polite, signs followed and bans respect. It's only the first week, but I feel i can live here forever, even if it rains too much.